A state that has wallowed in an extremity for a long time will naturally see a group of people rising up in support of the other extreme, sometimes resulting in absolute dystopia.
In this post's case, some consumers and designers have gone from a case of shoe-fickleness, to extreme shoe-retardedness, where it seems like anything can pass off as a shoe. Like this:
Are those pointy shoes? Are they sneakers? By trying to incorporate dress shoes with track shoes, all the "designer" has done is to cause the shoes to be completely unwearable. You can't wear it to a party because it is hideous, and you can't wear it running unless you like your toes squashed bleeding-dry when you run.
If you do decide to wear it, please wear it with those two-layered baggy singlets, with a colour-clashing flare skirt. Because then at least it'd look consistently ugly.
You know, they have medication for that.
Oops! Looks like someone forgot to trim the undergrowth before a hot date. Better be careful… you don’t want to turn up in your itsy-bitsy-teenie-weenie-yellow-polka-dot bikini with some of that fur peeking out.
Barbie. This is Striperella. Striperella. Meet Barbie.
There is no way you can wear them, walk down the street and pass canines without feeling a spasm in your leg, urging to kick those bitches!!
Why? WHY?! Cruella De Vil wore them, for god’s sake. When she was skinning those poor puppies and laughing like a banshee.
Oh no. I knew it. Just because it rained on your khaki-coloured boots, does not mean that you can heat it up in the microwave oven. What you see, my dear, is the result of gas expanding more than solid (i.e. fabric).
Well, at least you didn’t put your Dalmatian in there when it got drenched.
What you’re seeing is not a shoe. It’s a giant scorpion sitting atop your foot and chewing on your ankle. It’s also the shoe-version of this:
All right I’m done. Good night, sleep tight, and don’t let the scorpions bite.
